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:iconvague-lucidity: More from vague-lucidity




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June 7, 2012
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I was born, but my birth wasn't my beginning. I, in terms of the energy I am (I would say "made of" but this implies on some level that I'm something separate/above) have no actual beginning. I only have a developed self-awareness and memory that lets me be self-aware for awhile before I eventually become something else in the form of my potential children or decomposed atoms. You can't really draw the line at any point and designate that as the exact point of my emergence -- what is "me", in this case? Me in my current state? The two sex cells that I started as? But those were quite literally my parents, and they're their parents, and so on.

We can call that awareness me, I can call its developmental emergence I for convenience, for reference, for frame of reference, for experience. But I'm energy. The same energy as an unknown 18th century couple and all of the unknown atoms the mother consumed during that unknown pregnancy. The same energy as a single cell in a turbulent ocean, reacting to pH imbalances while attempting to gather the energy to clone itself.

I am an iteration in an endless procession of mutations of the same energy taking different forms, different patterns. Anything that is, is a pattern of energy that was already possible, it just had to be given the right context to manifest as a temporary, local pattern, because the context is the pattern. Evolution extends to the level of ontology – things that are able to be patterns, to exist in a patternic system of relations, exist; things that are not, do not. To be a pattern made of movement is to perpetually reform. Form is tentative, because it exists as reform, otherwise it would never have been anything (an atom that doesn't vibrate and thus move the system doesn't exist).

If self-awareness is a mirror, we're reality's reflection, its opposite. The subjective experience we undergo is the anti-entropy to reality's entropy. By opposing its force we create a vortex with it, and by creating a vortex we create a dimension of depth, of motion, of movement, of experience. The experience of space is precisely what time is. Time and experience mean the same thing.

The flatline implies a potential wrinkle, a potential fold, a wave. If the flatline implies potential, the flatline is potential, and if it is infinite in length, its possible processive systems of relations are infinite. Reality's indifference to both our suffering and our joy is the only way anything can happen. It's the only way events can unfold from the folds.

A form in reform, an ever-mutating contextual temporal framework within a dynamic system of contrast and comparison. A piece in a truly endless fractal, a shape defying shape, defying border -- creating the space it fills.
If it is true that anything exists, then potential is fundamental. Therefore, infinity is.
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